Sunday, February 7, 2010

More Infidelities

How about love during marriage to keep your husband?

I watched yet another 20/20 borderline gossipy interview on Friday. I hate to judge people since one never knows what goes on in their lives to make them do what they do. But, one has to wonder what part Mrs. Sanford played in her husband's personal life. There were some telling moments in Jenny Sanford's interview with Barbara Walters that made me conclude that she must have been distant and uninvolved in her husband's life (despite her busy role as his campaign manager).

At some point in Mark Sanford's affair with the Argentinian Maria Belen Chapur, he asked his wife if she would give him permission to visit Maria. Jenny, who has written a book about this experience, never clarifies if he wanted to visit Maria to smooth things over for the final break-up. I have a feeling this was the case - why would he ask his wife for permission otherwise?

In a telling moment, when Jenny refuses, Sanford moans "Why don't you love me?"

Now, I don't think he was talking of that particular moment. This, to me, seems like a recurring problem in their marriage.

Jenny does say that she (and by extension Sanford, though this is clearly not the case by his affair) has a practical view of love. She doesn't come out fully saying it, but she seems to have a low regard for unconditional love, a debate she said she had many times with her husband.

Now, who wants a wife who is "practical" about loving her husband? It sounds like no love to me. I'm not condoning Sanford's behavior, but it must have been very difficult to be married to his practical, campaign managing, unconditional love scorning wife.

People have to get their emotional fulfillment from somewhere. I wonder if that is what happened with last week's fascinating 20/20 topic which I also blogged about - John and Mrs. Edwards. Although, I will be bold enough to say that I'm pretty sure that's what happened there too.