Saturday, May 7, 2011

Sluts and Crybabies

"Proud to be a slut" marchers protest through
downtown Toronto, yet glance disapprovingly
at the girl who is dressed like a slut holding
a poster which says "Proud Slut" (video here)

The ever-industrious Steve Paiken of the current affairs/news program The Agenda (broadcast on Television Ontario) brought together a panel of women (men were notably absent) to discuss the recent Slut Walks, which I blogged about here.

Here is his panel:

- Susannah Breslin is a freelance journalist and blogger from Texas.

- Jaclyn Friedman is the executive director of WAM! (Women, Action and the Media) from Cambridge Massachusetts, and according to web sources a "Queer Jewish writer." Friedman had a weird coy demeanor during the panel discussion, as though she were trying to seduce the viewers. I didn't realize she had the other demographic in mind.

- Gail Dines is a professor of sociology and women's studies at Wheelock College, in Boston and author of Pornland.

- Heather Jarvis is co-founder of The Slut Walk in Toronto.

- Kate McPherson is a professor of history and women's studies at York University, Toronto.

So, in a panel of five women, two are professors of women's studies, one is a director of a clearly feminist agency, one has written a pornographic book (as well as holding a professorship in women's studies), one is the co-founder of The Slut Walk. And finally, one is "queer."

Also, two of the women, Heather Jarvis and the lesbian Jaclyn Friedman, said that they were "sexually assaulted" which in today's scenario could mean anything from a boyfriend thinking "no is yes" after his girlfriend takes him up to her room late at night

The only one who is not defined by her "womanness" according to TVO's biographies, is Susannah Breslin, who is presented as a freelance journalist and blogger (and I would assume - no I will conclude - that she is the least stable financially and "career" wise) although she's now a Forbes blogger (which is no professorship).

And guess who was the one holding the fort against these formidable r-e-s-p-e-c-t (as Hugh Grant would put it) feminists? Yes, the lowly blogger.

The discussion around the feminists revolves around "taking back the word 'slut'" as in those years when women were "taking back the night", and homosexuals "reclaiming queer." Of course, at Breslin's push, the women started to redefine what they meant by "reclaiming" the word "slut." It goes something like this: If some women are called sluts because of the way they dress (and what triggered the whole march in the first place is a police officer's observation that if women wanted to be free from sexual assault, they shouldn't dress like sluts), and if this causes them to be raped, then all women are in solidarity with these sluts, and are sluts themselves, in protest against men raping women who are dressed like sluts.

The funny thing is that none of these women were dressed like sluts on Paiken's show, even Friedman, who does don the attire at her queer/feminist protests. But they have no qualms about naïve, young girls in the avant-garde parading their flesh while holding "slut" signs. So, what part of "slut" are they reclaiming, as Breslin challenges them?

Just before this panel, Paiken held an interview with Anne Kreamer who is the author of the book It's Always Personal: Emotions in the New Workplace. The whole interview was funny (in an embarrassing way) to watch. Kreamer advocates crying in the workplace, and that stiff upper lips are no good. Of course, the majority of work-place-emoters are women, but Kreamer also talks about men who cry, and who felt "cleansed" after the experience. She didn't bother to delineate (at least in the interview, and Paiken never pressed her) what is the incidence of men crying. The reality, of course, is that, women cry more often, and in public. All I can say is that the work place is a kind of a war zone - money, projects, prestige, success - are on the line. The nice guy does finish last. What this translates to, which these women would never admit to, is that women are less suited to this cut-throat environment. There are two solutions to their problem: one is to have fewer women in high-stake positions; the other is to regulate the work force to make it more conducive (nicer) for women workers. So far, the latter is winning.

Kreamer's interview was the perfect introduction to the panel. Despite "rewriting" the word "victim" during the panel, what the women are really saying is that women are victims (weaker, more vulnerable) when it comes to rape, which is often performed by men because they are women. Like the career women, these feminist experts want society to rewrite the reality of the world, make it soft and gentle, so that women can do what they want including dress as sluts (and not be raped).

To catch all the nuances, expressions, vocabulary, explanations and other fascinating aspects of both the panel discussion and the interview, I recommend the two videos from TVO's site:

- Anne Kreamer: Emotions in the New Work Place
- "Slut Walks" and Modern Feminism